Tebow, Herschel and Serena

Greetings, Earthlings.

I have a couple of things to say about Mr. Tebow, Herschel Walker fighting and the very-G Serena Williams. I know many of you have been sitting at your computers hitting refresh all day on The Moonraker, so away we go.


Tim has no shot

Look, I know Tebow was sick most of the week at the Senior Bowl. I know it was just one week and one meaningless game. And I know it was his first time out of the spread system since Pee Wee ball.

But good Lord was he awful. He threw for just 50 yards, fumbled twice and tossed a couple of passes were just embarrassing. But even worse, everyone got a clear picture of just how slow he is.

Slow throwing. Slow running.

He's projected as a second-round guy, but I think that's waaaaaayyyyyy too high. If his name was Tim Smith, there's no chance he'd even sniff the fourth round. But as it is, we've got people making excuses for him and trying to manufacture a spot for him to play in the NFL.

Unfortunately, there isn't one for a slow guy who can't block.


Herchel Walker's a Bad Man

I hate MMA fighting. Call me a girl, but I just don't enjoy watching some guy take a knee to the noggin. Not my thing.

That said, I do respect the fighters and the training they go through to compete. It's not easy, especially for a 47-year-old.

In case you missed it, former Georgia running back Herschel Walker made his MMA debut Saturday night. He beat the brains outta some guy who can now go back to bagging groceries. (Actually, Walker's opponent was a legit fighter.)

But more impressive was the way he looked doing it. A good 13 years since he last put on pads, Herschel is one ripped up fella.


Holding a Grudge

I can't let the Serena Williams-line judge thing go.

The funny thing here is I couldn't possibly care less about tennis. I'd rather watch Nancy Grace, because there's at least a chance she'll fall down and I'll be entertained briefly. Can't say the same for tennis.

But every now and then -- mainly when ESPN airs one of the 8,023 Opens in professional tennis -- I have to sit through some long segment during "Sportscenter" in which I routinely learn that Serena has won another match/set/game/frame. (I have no idea what happened to Venus. Gone to the same house of irrelevance as Roebuck and that dude who co-hosted "Idol" with Ryan Seacrest the first year, I guess.)

But now, all I can think about when I see this extremely large woman is her threat to shove a ball down that poor lineswoman's throat. And I don't know why I'm so caught up on it.

Maybe it's because she's a woman and displayed such anger. Maybe it was because she was so intimidating to the little Asian lineswoman that day. I don't know.

I just know I don't really like Serena now ... even though I know almost nothing about her.


That's all for now, boys and girls.

photo cred: AP, Reuters