And We're Back

Well, helloooooo, boys and girls.

Apologies, again, for the long absence. I have an excuse that you will not care about -- computer issues. For some reason, I can't sign into any google application without significant issues. Quite a problem, since like many people, life now runs through the Google. So, I've made an end run here, and it seems to be going OK so far.

Let's make some noise ... bullet style. (Basically, that means I can't focus very well.)

• Idol Recap: "American Idol" went live tonight -- or last night, I guess. The ladies went first and Ellen Degeneres made her debut. It was clunky all the way around. The girls seemed nervous, which is understandable, and Ellen and the other judges spent most of the night feeling each other out, which also is understandable. From that group, based on just those performances, I saw two potential winners: Lily, the girl with platinum hair, and Crystal, the girl with dreads who has undergone significant dental work since Hollywood week. There were a few borderline good performances, and some dreadful performances from girls who were good in previous shows. By the end of the night, two things were clear: First, the relationship between Ellen and the other judges, and Ellen and the contestants, will change dramatically over the course of the season, and second, whoever gave the green light to Haeley Vaughn (right) should immediately be fired.




• Chuck E. Cheese Deathmatch: The kiddie playland has gone mad. Last weekend in Memphis, police responded to an all-out brawl. Four people were arrested after an altercation began over customers taking too long at a photo booth. When a female patron in line asked, "Dang, how long y'all gonna be?", things got ugly. A gentlemen with the family in the photo booth answered her question by allegedly "punching her in the face." (You can find all the particulars here.) But here's the best part: It doesn't stop with just the Memphis trouble. Violence at Chuck E. Cheese restaurants is a growing trend, apparently. From Tennessee to Wisconsin to Ohio, throwdowns at Chuck's are becoming commonplace. Here's a story from the Wall Street Journal that details the unbelievable number of fights at these places. And here's one more, which happens to contain my favorite incident: "At the Manheim Twp. restaurant in Lancaster County, a man was arrested March 20 after police said he ran around the restaurant spitting and yelling he had hepatitis C."

• Auburn Football Raises: In case you missed it, Auburn has handed out raises to head football coach Gene Chizik and his staff. Most of the assistants and the head coach received a modest bump. Offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn got big boost. (Jay G. Tate has all of the particulars in easy-to-follow form over The Habotn.) I don't get the need for this. The team seemed to be a little better than expected last season, but it wasn't great by any stretch. In fact, by recent standards, the 8-5 finish was rather subpar. Recruiting went well, granted. And the future certainly seems brighter. But isn't that what these guys were hired to do? I mean, I can see giving some bumps if the Tigers suddenly went 11-2 and other colleges were beating down the door trying to hire these coaches away. But that didn't happen and only one guy -- Malzahn -- has received any notable interest. It reminds me of the Chris Rock joke about not getting a cookie for (stuff) you're "supposed to do." This bunch was supposed to field a mediocre team. It was supposed to do well recruiting. So, why the cookies?
  



• Killing Me Softly: I found out today that I'm being killed by yet another chemical that's been arbitrarily placed in my food. This time, it's something called BPA, otherwise known as Bisphenol A. It's a chemical found in the linings of most food cans and drink cans, and scientists have now linked it to reproductive issues and cancer. It has already been eliminated from almost all baby products (i.e. bottles) and more and more food producers are seeking ways to get it away from their products. The problem: It's in EVERYTHING. Here's a Washington Post story about the efforts to get rid of BPA. You'll notice this quote in the story: "We don't have a safe, effective alternative ..." (a source said). You know what that means? It means that what we have now ISN'T safe or effective. Fantastic.
  

That's all for now. I'll try to be back tomorrow with more great news ... if the Google works.

photo cred: Fox (Vaughn), Arlington Cardinal (Chuck's)