And We're Back

Well, helloooooo, boys and girls.

Apologies, again, for the long absence. I have an excuse that you will not care about -- computer issues. For some reason, I can't sign into any google application without significant issues. Quite a problem, since like many people, life now runs through the Google. So, I've made an end run here, and it seems to be going OK so far.

Let's make some noise ... bullet style. (Basically, that means I can't focus very well.)

• Idol Recap: "American Idol" went live tonight -- or last night, I guess. The ladies went first and Ellen Degeneres made her debut. It was clunky all the way around. The girls seemed nervous, which is understandable, and Ellen and the other judges spent most of the night feeling each other out, which also is understandable. From that group, based on just those performances, I saw two potential winners: Lily, the girl with platinum hair, and Crystal, the girl with dreads who has undergone significant dental work since Hollywood week. There were a few borderline good performances, and some dreadful performances from girls who were good in previous shows. By the end of the night, two things were clear: First, the relationship between Ellen and the other judges, and Ellen and the contestants, will change dramatically over the course of the season, and second, whoever gave the green light to Haeley Vaughn (right) should immediately be fired.




• Chuck E. Cheese Deathmatch: The kiddie playland has gone mad. Last weekend in Memphis, police responded to an all-out brawl. Four people were arrested after an altercation began over customers taking too long at a photo booth. When a female patron in line asked, "Dang, how long y'all gonna be?", things got ugly. A gentlemen with the family in the photo booth answered her question by allegedly "punching her in the face." (You can find all the particulars here.) But here's the best part: It doesn't stop with just the Memphis trouble. Violence at Chuck E. Cheese restaurants is a growing trend, apparently. From Tennessee to Wisconsin to Ohio, throwdowns at Chuck's are becoming commonplace. Here's a story from the Wall Street Journal that details the unbelievable number of fights at these places. And here's one more, which happens to contain my favorite incident: "At the Manheim Twp. restaurant in Lancaster County, a man was arrested March 20 after police said he ran around the restaurant spitting and yelling he had hepatitis C."

• Auburn Football Raises: In case you missed it, Auburn has handed out raises to head football coach Gene Chizik and his staff. Most of the assistants and the head coach received a modest bump. Offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn got big boost. (Jay G. Tate has all of the particulars in easy-to-follow form over The Habotn.) I don't get the need for this. The team seemed to be a little better than expected last season, but it wasn't great by any stretch. In fact, by recent standards, the 8-5 finish was rather subpar. Recruiting went well, granted. And the future certainly seems brighter. But isn't that what these guys were hired to do? I mean, I can see giving some bumps if the Tigers suddenly went 11-2 and other colleges were beating down the door trying to hire these coaches away. But that didn't happen and only one guy -- Malzahn -- has received any notable interest. It reminds me of the Chris Rock joke about not getting a cookie for (stuff) you're "supposed to do." This bunch was supposed to field a mediocre team. It was supposed to do well recruiting. So, why the cookies?
  



• Killing Me Softly: I found out today that I'm being killed by yet another chemical that's been arbitrarily placed in my food. This time, it's something called BPA, otherwise known as Bisphenol A. It's a chemical found in the linings of most food cans and drink cans, and scientists have now linked it to reproductive issues and cancer. It has already been eliminated from almost all baby products (i.e. bottles) and more and more food producers are seeking ways to get it away from their products. The problem: It's in EVERYTHING. Here's a Washington Post story about the efforts to get rid of BPA. You'll notice this quote in the story: "We don't have a safe, effective alternative ..." (a source said). You know what that means? It means that what we have now ISN'T safe or effective. Fantastic.
  

That's all for now. I'll try to be back tomorrow with more great news ... if the Google works.

photo cred: Fox (Vaughn), Arlington Cardinal (Chuck's)

Carver-Valley II

Hello there, boys and girls.

Sorry for the long, long absence. I was prevented from posting last week due to a company-wide furlough and I've been a bit busy early this week with the Central Regional basketball coverage. I would've have posted from that fine event, as I'm doing now, but the combination of ASU's wireless and my wireless card prevented me from staying connected to the Interwebs for more than 30 seconds at a time.

Anyway, I'm here now. There is a fine Carver-BTW girls game happening in front of me. I'm supposed to be covering it, but that assignment has been altered, thanks to a 38-7 halftime advantage held by the Lady Wolverines. We've now switched into feature/preview mode for Carver's Regional finals matchup on Friday with either Selma or Beauregard. (Not that you care about any of this, of course.)

My primary assignment today will be the production of a column from the Carver-Valley boys game. You might recall that these two teams played last year -- portions of the game were broadcast on CNN, ESPN, Fox News and the BBC. It was memorable, of course, for the massive brawl that erupted between the two teams and among fans in the stands. It lasted for quite some time and was rather ugly.

Both teams were booted from the playoffs and forced into various "sportsmanship" seminars, and they say they're better people and better students and that they understand what went wrong and what led to the problems. And you know what, good for them. And good for the people who kept pushing them along.

I honestly expect nothing to happen this afternoon -- just a game. But I didn't expect one of the players to roll up to KFC after a loss a week ago and show a handgun to the Selma players. So, we shall see.

photo cred: al.com

Bingo Reed-o!

Hello there, boys and girls.

We have a couple of court decisions to speak about this evening -- Bingo and Joe Reed. I'm sure you've probably heard of the first, maybe not the second. And if you have heard of the second, you likely don't know the behind-the-scenes facts.

Let's go with bingo first

I don't get why we continue to have a debate over "bingo." It's gambling. It's no different than blackjack, poker or slots. You pay a little money to play a game in which you can win more money. That's gambling. Sorry, but it is.

Now, none of this is a knock against gambling, because I truly don't care. Gamble, don't gamble -- it's up to you. It's a vice. People have them. I used to smoke a pack a day before I found this wonderful drug called Chantix that eliminated that nasty little habit (this is not an official endorsement of Chantix, just sayin' it worked for me). Anyway, smoking was my problem. And it was up to me to fix that problem, or at least manage it.

My only issue with gambling is how it affects me. When it comes to smoking or drinking, we have built in taxes on those items that help to offset some of the health care costs those products create. With gambling, since it isn't legal in most counties in this state, we're not getting enough tax revenue to cover the problems caused by the gambling -- both legal and illegal -- occurring within the state and the problems caused by those traveling out of state to gamble. And that jerks money away from me and away from everyone else in this state. That doesn't make me happy.


On to Reed

As you may know, Dr. Reed, former ASU board member, leader of the Democratic party in the state and legal somethingorother for AEA, sued the ASU board last year for age descrimination after he was forced to resign his seat once he turned 70. On Thursday, a federal judge ruled against Reed and his VERY LONG tenure on the ASU board is over -- maybe.

But here's the funny part: The bylaw in the ASU handbook which Reed was contesting ... he wrote it. Or at least, he helped to write it. And he was certainly in favor of it back in the day. You know, well before he was 70.

Anyway, it's the end of a very long run for Reed. He did a lot of good for ASU.

Unfortunately, his final years were pitiful. He fought like crazy to fire former head coach L.C. Cole, and then played at least a small role in the continued effort to ruin Cole ... for no reason other than Cole refused to be pushed out quietly. In the end, it's fitting that the Cole/NCAA fiasco ended up costing Reed his power on the board and his name on the Acadome. And make no mistake about it, it was the uproar and fan outcry during and following that whole charade that led to real pressure on the governor to appoint non-Reed guys to the board. And Reed's reign slowly came to an end.

photo cred: AP (Riley), Mobile Press-Register (Reed)

Athletics Decisions in 30 Minutes or Less

Hello there, good peoples.

Funny story. Not really related to anything around here.

On March 8, the University of Michigan wil introduce David Brandon as the school's new athletic director. Brandon is not a former player or coach. He didn't rise through the athletic department ranks at any school. In fact, he almost no athletics-related experience in his professional background.

Instead, since 1999, he served as the CEO of Domino's Pizza.

Sound a little strange? Well, apparently, hiring good businessmen -- and not necessarily a former jock -- is a growing trend in big-budget athletic departments. The New York Times did a nice piece on it yesterday. You can find it here Businessmen ADs.

The interesting part of this to me, however, isn't so much that Michigan is hiring a guy with no sports experience. It's that the school is hiring this guy.

In case you haven't noticed, Domino's isn't exactly setting the world on fire these days. Just recently, with sales lagging, the company essentially admitted that it was producing a terrible product. New Domino's commercials tell you that the company has replaced the cheese, improved the crust and gone with a new sauce.

That's like Ford coming out and saying, Listen, we've been having a little trouble lately and we think that maybe it's because our car isn't so good. So, to improve, we're going to change the engine, body and wheels.

So, good luck with that, Michigan.

Kobe, Lebron and a Whole Buncha Morons

Hello there, boys and girls.

You might have heard by now that Gilbert Arenas has made it impossible for anyone in the NBA to reference guns in any way. Apparently, though, that message didn't get passed along in time to stop a Nike ad featuring Lebron James and Kobe Bryant (otherwise known as the two best players in the league, with all due apologies to Kevin Durant).

In the print ad, which has been pulled wherever it could be pulled, Kobe and Lebron (I use their first names because I'm hip like that) are pictured in black-and-white photos, looking imposing. The tag line is "Prepare for Combat," as you'll note from Lebron's portion of the ad pictured to the right.

On the now-pulled ad featuring Bryant, there is a quote from Bryant in which he says he "leaves nothing in the chamber."

So offensive and insensitive given the recent events ... of one moron taking four guns into a locker room.

There are people seriously upset by this. So much so that Kobe has issued an apology for the ad's insensitive message. And now Lebron is being criticized for "not getting it," because he came to Kobe's defense and in the process acted like a sane individual.

"That has nothing, zero, to do with guns, ESPN reported James said, raising his voice at reporters. At all. At all. Zero. That's very simple. For somebody to even say that -- that's a basketball term. To try to highlight Kobe and say that he was referencing guns is totally ridiculous. We say a lot of things as basketball players that make a reference to guns and violence, but it's really not guns and violence."

I'll say something you won't often hear: The angry professional athlete is correct.

Do we now have to find other terms to describe what players are doing when they use their arms to physically propel a basketball towards a basket? Because I gotta tell ya, it's going to be pretty weird not using "shoot," "shot," "launch" or "fire up" anymore.

But hey, what are ya gonna do? Gilbert Arenas has ruined it for all of us. Funny. Eight-one people in this country are killed by a gun every day, but it's Arenas' "joke" that finally pushes us over the edge.