Catchin' Up

Hello there, boys and girls.

After a loooooonnngggg absence here on the blog, I am back. Apologies to you all, but I had some other matters to address that limited my time for posting. Those are now out of the way for the time being, so I'm back to handle business.

First up: The Beat My Dog Bracket Contest.

You people, and that includes me, should all be ashamed. Oscar, my genius yellow Lab, finished ahead of most of the field, landing in sixth place. He was the only participant to have Butler in the finals.

So, like I have long maintained, picking the NCAA Tournament is nothing more than a crap shoot. So much so that a dog who has no idea he's making picks can manage to do better than most people.

Second up: Dont'a Hightower

I had a nice chat by phone with the Alabama junior-to-be linebacker on Tuesday afternoon. He's what you might refer to as a "no-nonsense" kind of guy. He's not mean or nasty -- in fact, just the opposite. But he doesn't doddle, either. His answers are quick and concise, as you saw in the story which ran in today's Montgomery Advertiser.

One of my main reasons for talking with Hightower, however, wasn't covered in that story. There seems to be a feeling that the 2010 UA defense won't miss a beat, even after losing 10 starters from a national championship team. While it's true that many of the backups got good playing time last year, it seems absurd to think there won't be some fall off from losing so many quality players. I wanted to ask Hightower about that. His answers, most of which will appear in a story on Friday, were bit different from the fan perspective.

"It's going to be a different defense," Hightower said. "It's not going to be the same."

You can find more from Mr. Hightower on Friday.

Beat My Dog II: Electric Boogaloo

Hello there, boys and girls.

With Sweet 16 games upon us, let's provide a little update on the Beat My Dog Bracket Tournament of Death. As you know from previous posts, I allowed my dog, Oscar, to pick a bracket in an effort to prove that a dog unwittingly picking teams by chasing toys can do just as well in these contests as your average human.

So far, so good.

At this point, unlike many of you -- and by "many of you," I mean me -- Oscar still has his championship game participants intact.

In case you were curious, he has Butler and Kentucky playing for the title.

That might seem like an odd matchup, but oddity is a staple of this year's tournament. See: Northern Iowa, Cornell, Washington and St. Mary's.

All of that is the good news for Oscar. The bad news is that five of his Elite Eight teams have been bounced. But hey, if Duke, Butler and Kentucky win their 16 games, he's not in bad shape.

And looking down this Beat My Dog group, some of you should be ashamed. Because I'm pretty sure he won't finish last even if only Kentucky advances.

Told ya a dog could do this.

Beat My Dog: Bracket Up

Alrighty then, everybody.

We're ready to roll on the Beat My Dog bracket contest. Oscar and I have spent the afternoon going over the bracket with a magnifying glass trying to make sure we weighed all options carefully and didn't miss a stat that might be crucial.

OK, that's not actually true. In reality, Oscar has chased a ball or a rawhide bone so many times that he's now passed out at my feet. Of course, he had no idea what was going on and seemed to be completely confused by the fact that I insisted on throwing two toys at a time. Not so confused that he ever stopped retrieving the toys, however.

The Oscar Bracket, which you will be able to peruse beginning tomorrow morning just after tip-off of the first game, contains some shocking upsets and a few interesting scenarios.

I won't give away the entire bracket here, but I will let you in on a few trends.

First, Oscar, who can be seen to the right practicing his pick making earlier this winter, isn't a big fan of strange or large, lumbering animals. He didn't care for Hoyas or Longhorns or Aggies or Golden Bears. Also, not a big fan of people with firearms, as he gave a quick boot to Cowboys, Musketeers and Volunteers.

Strangely enough, though, he holds no cat -- or cat family -- grudge. Wildcats and Tigers did just fine. He also seemed to be OK with most birds and insects, and for some reason he really liked teams that have a color for a mascot. And, as you might imagine, dogs did very, very well with him -- except for the Hoyas, which I can only assume confused him.

So, join up and see if you can Beat My Dog. Go to ESPN's bracket challenge, fill out your bracket and enter the group: BeatMyDog.

Beat My Dog

Hello, hello, again.

Aight, it's time to Beat My Dog.

As you might have read on an earlier post, the Beat My Dog contest is a simple, yet genius, creation designed to make us all look incredibly stupid.

Basic Concept
My dog, Oscar, will be picking an NCAA Tournament bracket. Now, I know you're thinking that I must have one smart dog on my hands here. Not really. In fact, just this morning he went running headlong into the wooden fence surrounding our yard for an as-yet-undetermined reason.

How this works is I picked two of his toys, designated one as the higher seed and the other as the lower seed, and chunked them both. Whichever one he picked up and brought back, that was his pick. (Full disclosure: I said in an earlier post that we would be using tennis balls, but I discovered rather quickly that he can fit two of those in his mouth at the same time. And since I don't think there will be 32 ties on Thursday and Friday, we moved to Plan B.)

We worked straight down the line, beginning in the Midwest region. I gave Oscar all the No. 1 seeds through the second round games, meaning Duke, Kansas, Kentucky and Syracuse were automatically in the Sweet 16. But other than that, everything else was fair game. We made it almost all the way through the first two rounds this morning before he lost interest in chasing the toys. But I will say that he seems to be a fan of the underdog -- shocking, I know.

I'll post his full bracket later this afternoon. Until then, I have created a group in the ESPN Tournament Challenge. Group name: BeatMyDog. It's a pubic group, so there should be no password issues. Join up and see how you do. I'll also post my bracket in there, so I too can lose to a dog.

Pickin' and Grinin'

Hello again, boys and girls.

I'm not going to apologize for the delay between posts, because let's be honest, I think we all know it will be insincere. I got busy doing other things, like writing for the daily paper or traveling to Tuscaloosa, and I didn't post. Such is life.

But I'm back now with a little treat: B--B--B--B--rackets.

That's right, I have all your NCAA Tournament goodness here. I'll show you mine, you can show me yours (your brackets -- I'm talking about brackets here). I'll give you my upset and winners and you can do what you always do -- lurk in the darkness until I'm wrong, then point and laugh.

Also, just a quick update: Tomorrow morning, I will open up the annual Beat My Dog bracket contest. If you're unfamiliar, which you should be since I haven't done before, you'll be competing against my dog, Oscar. He's a yellow lab. He will chose teams by selecting one of two tennis balls. For example, one tennis ball will represent Murray State, one will rep Vandy. I'll throw 'em both. Whichever one he picks up and brings back, that's his choice. That's tomorrow ... or later today.


Now for the bracket. I'll break it down by region. I'll give you my first round upsets, my four advancing to the Sweet 16, my region final participants and each of the Final Four. Make sure you copy all of this. I'm sure it'll go exactly as I predict.

MIDWEST

Upsets: Houston, Georgia Tech

Sweet 16: Kansas, Georgetown, Houston, Ohio State

Region Finals: Kansas v. Georgetown

Final Four: Kansas


SOUTH

Upsets: Louisville, Utah State, Siena

Sweet 16: Louisville, Siena, Baylor, Villanova

Region Finals: Louisville v. Baylor

Final Four: Baylor


EAST

Upsets: Missouri

Sweet 16: Kentucky, Wisconsin, Marquette, West Virginia

Region Finals: Kentucky v. West Virginia

Final Four: Kentucky


WEST

Upsets: Florida State, Murray State

Sweet 16: Syracuse, Butler, Pittsburgh, Kansas State

Region Finals: Syracuse v. Pittsburgh

Final Four: Pittsburgh


FINALS

Kentucky def. Kansas

Phan Male

Hello again, boys and girls.

We have a special treat for you this evening. Actually, it's more a treat for me, but hey, at least one of us is happy. I'm bringing back one of my all-time favorite columns -- Reader Mail.

Basically, in the Reader Mail column, I respond to the lovely letters and notes I receive each week. I answer questions (primarily concerning the whereabouts of my head in relation to my backside), offer tips (usually spelling, although we have given out medical advice a few times) and generally just converse with the loyal readers (and by "loyal," I mean guys who read once and write bad things).

So, here we go.

Barrett, a recent Ole Miss grad, from Montgomery

As a native of Montgomery and a recent graduate of Ole Miss, I am quite disappointed with your juvenile, baseless, and thoughtless attack on my alma mater for seemingly no reason other than to make your weekly word count.

Answer: First, congrats on the recent degree. I'm sure one from Ole Miss is almost as good as one from a real school. (I'm joking. It's a fine institution.)
As for the complaint, I'll give you juvenile. It's what I do. But "baseless" and "thoughtless"? Your mascot is going to be a pop-eyed crawfish. That's base. And I recounted Orgeron and the KKK. That's thought.


Caroline, a current Ole Miss student, from Montgomery

A recent column by Josh Moon run March 1 in regard to Ole Miss’ mascot selection contained numerous fallacies.
As a lifetime Montgomery native and current Ole Miss student, I can say firsthand that it is not up for serious contemplation. Moon also wrote that “that the students reportedly want it to happen is enough.” The Daily Mississippian, the student newspaper of Ole Miss, clearly stated in a direct quote from the group’s founders that its creation was a joke. Admiral Ackbar is not a viable candidate for mascot, and will not be. The students are backing it for a laugh, but are not behind it as a real mascot.
I was disappointed to see such an error-riddled argument run in the Advertiser. I would expect any columnist to research the situation first, and to leave irrelevant information (the KKK, how ‘pompous’ the students are) out of it.

Answer: Here's a tip: When you use terms such as "numerous fallacies" and "error-riddled," you sort of lead people to believe that you have found more than one fallacy or error. So, when you then spend three paragraphs detailing the one error you believe you've found and never offer a second, you confuse people.
And it's especially confusing when even your one complaint makes no sense. I don't care why Admiral Ackbar is winning. I don't care who started it. I don't care why they started it. I don't care that he'll never be the official mascot. I thought I made that clear by stating in the column that "I don't care ..."
What I do care about is an SEC institution acting as if it belongs in C-USA.



Glenna, a Miss. St. grad, from Prattville

I don't normally read your column, and now that I've read your views in Monday's edition, I won't read it again.
How sad that you think the whole world revolves around sports teams from AL. You can have Ole Miss and their new mascot. But why drag Miss State into the mix? What did we ever do to you? Oh wait - maybe it's because Miss State has the chance to be the next SEC basketball champions!

Answer: Look at Glenna -- comes out of MSU and still knows how to use e-mail and the Internet. Good for you.
To answer your question, MSU forced me to ride through a barren countryside to watch bad football as thousands of cowbells clanged. And while the whole world doesn't revolve around teams from Alabama, the world of college football certainly revolved around one team from Alabama this year.
I look forward to hearing from you next week.


Leonard from Part Unknown

All right suck it up already and be a man not another sore American loser. The loss to the Canadian women in Olympic Hockey was another typical American response, can’t beat them so fabricate some dirt to show your discontent. If you can’t play the game then why enter to become a loser, the last thing we need to hear is your whining.

Answer: Enjoy that hockey medal. We'll enjoy the medals from all the other sports.


Ken in Nashville

Great article about kicking Ole Miss out of the SEC. Very Objective. I’m glad to know that there is still credible journalism out there. For a while there, I was worried that newspapers would just let anyone with a typewriter and an opinion (dumb or not) write articles- especially the Montgomery Adviser. I’m surprised that the Montgomery Adviser can afford a writer as well-written as you. You are obviously on your way up the “newspaper corporate ladder.” In no time I expect to see your comments, blogs, and editorials in the Crenshaw Gazzette or Dale Daily Journal. I see big things for you as a journalist. Keep sharing your opinion. Most people are too smart not to do so. Not you my friend. You are on your way up. The 34 people that read your article/paper should really know how lucky they are.

Answer: This, boys and girls, is how you write a scathing response. Note the sarcasm, the backhanded digs and the subtle humor. This is writing a nasty letter while also maintaining perspective. Well done, Ken. Although, the Dale Daily Journal is still a bit out of reach at this point.


That's all for this edition.

Christmas in March

Hello, hello, boys and girls.

When I rolled out of bed this morning, something told me that it was going to be a special day. And you know, something was right.

Around lunchtime, it was announced that the Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will be coming to town to participate in an extra large BINGO! rally this weekend.

Are those Christmas bells I hear?

What an unbelievable gift this is. Sharpton and Jackson in town at the same time and at a rally where people are already half crazy. If you're quiet, you can almost hear the choirs singing.

Now, don't misinterpret what I'm saying here. I'm not a big fan of Al or Jesse. I don't think they'll shed new light on the issue or bring any real value to the debate. But they will bring a boatload of CRA-ZEE. And boy, do I love crazy.

This thing will be on CNN, Fox News -- heck, MSNBC might even cut into one of its weekend episodes of "To Catch A Predator" to cover this baby. It'll be stupendous, tremendous and outrageous.

I can't wait.

photo cred: Chuma Spirit Magazine